Hippomenes,

we are out of golden apples, boy, Herakles took the last batch and we saw no point in making more. times are hard, boy, materials are dear, the gold is better spent on toothpicks and letter openers. no one wants an apple that you cannot eat.

so to win a fast huntswoman, there are a few things you may do for under $10. braid her hair. whip her dogs. feed her to the giraffe at the zoo (suggested donation $4). gum will sticky up the track, but your jaws will ache from chewing it.

another thought. have you ever had an artichoke? related to the thistle. it will sting sharp through her sandles, and such a queer-looking flower! she may chase it anyway, though it is just green. $4 or 5 for $15. a real bargain. (discount miracles not guaranteed successful) but you can steam for an hour and dip in butter and scrape apart each leaf.

& some women react favorably to being compared to choke-smothered hearts.

cheers, and let us know how it goes. will make a great story for the web site if you succeed. vegetables unite worthy suitor and king's daughter in failing economy. take lots of pictures!

all the best,
the Hesperides

Echo has red hair and skin so pale you can see her blood vessels dilate as she blushes.

Echo has black hair and sallow skin that grate like scales.

Echo has straight hair and no curves.

Echo has voluptuous hair and sinuous contours.

 

Her mother, who can’t see, complains: 


bejeezus Echy, make up your mind. I don’t give a damn what color your hair is. It’s gonna fall out someday. So’s your skin. It feels tight and supple now, wait til you get to my age. Ever heard of small pox? The Indians? You could pull their skins off like peeling boiled beets. 

Don’t like beets? I don’t care about that either. You’re gonna eat these beets.

If your urine isn’t purple tomorrow you know what’s coming.

It’s good for you. What’s good for you doesn’t have to taste good. You don't know what's good for you.


Love,
Mom